As of writing this, I am a II PUC or 12th standard student, preparing for JEE. Of course, this is the common rat race every single student wants to go for; JEE(Engineering) or NEET(Medical). I want to go for a different field - Science research. Along with this, my CET exam had just finished and my cousins had come over for a couple days. So with all of them talking about the future - I have 2 elder cousins, both of whom went for Engineering. Almost everyone in my family has studied engineering, or wants to. So, I don’t have many people, who I know, who have chosen science as a career. The Sunday they all left, it gave me some time to self reflect; to think about the future. I had also recently read the book The Silent Patient, which was gifted to me by my elder cousin.
Why enginnering or Why science? It is a decision that has to be made in less than, at most, 3 months. I think this was also a reason - the deadline.
There are many pros and cons to science and engineering both. I shall make a non-exhaustive list of the same here, and update it.
I had a talk with my parents about this; that very night, and it was, to say the least, mind-opening. Here are some of the major points that I remember.
Initially, I really had no idea why I was feeling low. All I knew is I felt sad. It took some talking and thinking over it to realize that it was mainly because I was scared of the future; No one knows what the future holds for us. It must have been the combined effect of all relatives asking about the future; what will I be doing next, what will I be working for, what job I’ll get, what college/institute I’ll get, etc; All of them talking about engineering, and their jobs; the joy of meeting so many people, the fun in those three days had suddenly disappeared. I was just left with my own thoughts, and I had quite a lot to think upon.
Previously, over the last two years, as I was preparing for the JEE exam(and other related ones too), I was more or less fixed upon the fact that I wanted to do research. I genuinely enjoyed solving physics problems, regardless of how physically impossible they may be. I have in fact, compiled the majority of those questions in this website here. But, the major drawback of this career is that many people don’t know about this. So, there are not many people to ask about.
Engineering, on the other hand, is straightforward: remember a bunch of stuff for 4 years, get placed in a good company for a good salary, work there, and your career is more or less fixed. There is nothing more to achieve(other than salary hikes, etc). I don’t want to work for stuff like that. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy software coding, etc. I have made this website more or less from scratch; Really love some open source projects(I use Helix Editor), designed my own CLI jrnl in rust, made some physics simulations that were calculation intensive, etc. I just don’t think that I would like to work for some project in some company. I want to enjoy what I work on, instead of trying to enjoy what I work on.
Its just a lot to think about at once, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed doing so.
Joining an Engineering course does not mean that you’ll be working in an engineering job. Joining a research course (IISERs), does not automatically mean that you’ll get a PhD, and work as a researcher. This is a necessary thing to understand. My parents gave so many examples of this within our friends and family.
Since most of my relatives were talking about such things, it had come onto my mind. It is easy to go with the flow and just take in everything someone says. But we should be aware of some things - people try to impose their thoughts on you - Why not do engineering? Just 4 years, and then you’ll get placed nicely. - and so on. And, when many people starting talking about the same thing, it starts to make you think: Why do I want to do research? All people care about is your package - How much money you start making straight out of college.
If I do indeed choose to go for a research course at IISER, the nearest ones would be at Pune, Thiruvananthapuram or Tirupati. All of them have a travel time from home of around 10 hours. Going there would mean missing out on family gatherings like this; and there’s nothing you can do. It’s not worth travelling a day, just to stay for 1 day and then leave again(short meetings).
Life is just an intricate balance between career and family. And it does come to a point where you must choose one over the other. And this might also have been a factor contributing to my sadness.
Some things that are out of your control are obvious, the weather is an example. Other things are not so evident. Some people, even though they know that something is wrong, continue to do it. An example would be smoking. You might be able to tell them about the dangers, but at the end of the day, it is their choice. And you cannot change that. Another thing out of your control may be some behavioural traits of a person.
We must recognize these aspects and note that they are out of our control. And once you realize that there is not much you can do about it, why even try? Of course, you should try to convince them, but if it doesn’t work, trying more times just doesn’t help anyone.
It may feel obvious to you that another person should be able to understand your feelings. After all, how hard can it be? However, some people just cannot do so. Others don’t even try. This is another thing that is out of your control. Just let it be, and live life as usual.
I think it was good to have felt sad that day. It made my think, and talk, and we got a bunch of lessons to learn from it, which otherwise might not have come up.
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